Nº2
I’M JUST A DORK
Naiema Din has been the glue at the center of her Bay Area household, especially lately.
The 36-year-old is mother to two boys of Pakistani-Palestinian descent, ages 13 and 7.
As the war in Gaza wages on, she is making space for difficult emotions, which were further heightened as her husband, ER doctor Mohammad, served a five-week medical mission in Gaza. (Follow Dr. Subeh’s journey here.)
In a far-ranging conversation with WONDERING Editorial Director & Curator Francis Poon, Naiema spoke about supporting her family during this time, holding on to her faith and joy (improv!), and how she leads now, one step at a time.
THURSDAY MARCH 14, 2024 / 11AM PST
FRANCIS POON: What have these last few weeks been like?
NAIEMA DIN: They went by fast for me.
My older one was thinking about his dad constantly — before he went to sleep, when he woke up. Is he okay? Is he safe? But he was also overwhelmingly proud of him, and happy that he can go and help.
My younger one at one point told me, “I don’t like when people talk about war, because I think about Baba and Palestine, and I worry that something could happen.”
FP: How do you respond? This is not a normal thing for a 7-year-old to go through.
ND: I just gave him a hug. “I know, Habibi. Inshallah,” which means God willing, “he’ll come back.”
You make room for the sadness, and you make room for the worry. And then I’m like, “Do you want me to talk to the person who is talking about war too much at your school?” And I did. I messaged the parent.
FP: Can you tell me about the moment when Mohammad told you he wanted to go to Gaza?
ND: I was reading an article about a medical aid ship [going to Gaza]. I forwarded it to Mohammad — “Hey, how do you get on one?” He said, “I’m already looking into how to get there.” That was it.
Three weeks before [he left], I was like, give me all your passwords. You’re really planning for the worst, but because our belief was so strong, and it continues to be so strong that these people need help, we were just like... how do we make it happen?
There is this element in my religion [Islam] — if you do die in this cause, you die a martyr and we’ll see you in heaven. That’s what I believe. That’s what my kids believe.
NAIEMA DIN: They went by fast for me.
My older one was thinking about his dad constantly — before he went to sleep, when he woke up. Is he okay? Is he safe? But he was also overwhelmingly proud of him, and happy that he can go and help.
My younger one at one point told me, “I don’t like when people talk about war, because I think about Baba and Palestine, and I worry that something could happen.”
FP: How do you respond? This is not a normal thing for a 7-year-old to go through.
ND: I just gave him a hug. “I know, Habibi. Inshallah,” which means God willing, “he’ll come back.”
You make room for the sadness, and you make room for the worry. And then I’m like, “Do you want me to talk to the person who is talking about war too much at your school?” And I did. I messaged the parent.
FP: Can you tell me about the moment when Mohammad told you he wanted to go to Gaza?
ND: I was reading an article about a medical aid ship [going to Gaza]. I forwarded it to Mohammad — “Hey, how do you get on one?” He said, “I’m already looking into how to get there.” That was it.
Three weeks before [he left], I was like, give me all your passwords. You’re really planning for the worst, but because our belief was so strong, and it continues to be so strong that these people need help, we were just like... how do we make it happen?
There is this element in my religion [Islam] — if you do die in this cause, you die a martyr and we’ll see you in heaven. That’s what I believe. That’s what my kids believe.
FP: Wow! So you actually made peace with the possibility of losing Mohammad?
ND: I never put it in those words but yeah, that is something that me and the boys had to do. What a hard thing to even tell a 13-year-old, “Something could happen to Baba, but God will protect him. We would see him. It’s not the end.”
We’re not living in this world just for ourselves. We have purpose. Mohammad in Gaza and treating patients, that’s in service of God.
But yeah, something could happen to him. It was something I’ve really sat with. But even then, I didn’t let myself think too much. If that happens, I have a belief that I’m capable of dealing with it, when it happens. And then, lo and behold, it’s been five weeks. I did it. We held down the fort.
When he comes back, hopefully tomorrow, I’m just so happy to have him back. The kids are counting down the hours. And then I’m still thinking... in a few months, we gotta go back to Gaza. They still need us.
FP: You’re both thinking that already?
ND: He mentioned it but he’s not thinking too much about it. Right now he’s ready to come home and reset. I have a feeling that the devastation is so grand, the need is so high... how do we continue living here in our comfort and not want to do more?
FP: Was there ever a point during these last five weeks where your belief or faith wavered?
ND: When the “Flour Massacre” happened at the end of February, which is when Israeli forces opened fire on people desperately seeking aid, that was a rough day for me.
My faith didn’t waver. But it was this feeling of exhaustion that came over. I couldn’t even get up and do work. I would just make sure the kids had what they needed.
ND: I never put it in those words but yeah, that is something that me and the boys had to do. What a hard thing to even tell a 13-year-old, “Something could happen to Baba, but God will protect him. We would see him. It’s not the end.”
We’re not living in this world just for ourselves. We have purpose. Mohammad in Gaza and treating patients, that’s in service of God.
But yeah, something could happen to him. It was something I’ve really sat with. But even then, I didn’t let myself think too much. If that happens, I have a belief that I’m capable of dealing with it, when it happens. And then, lo and behold, it’s been five weeks. I did it. We held down the fort.
When he comes back, hopefully tomorrow, I’m just so happy to have him back. The kids are counting down the hours. And then I’m still thinking... in a few months, we gotta go back to Gaza. They still need us.
FP: You’re both thinking that already?
ND: He mentioned it but he’s not thinking too much about it. Right now he’s ready to come home and reset. I have a feeling that the devastation is so grand, the need is so high... how do we continue living here in our comfort and not want to do more?
FP: Was there ever a point during these last five weeks where your belief or faith wavered?
ND: When the “Flour Massacre” happened at the end of February, which is when Israeli forces opened fire on people desperately seeking aid, that was a rough day for me.
My faith didn’t waver. But it was this feeling of exhaustion that came over. I couldn’t even get up and do work. I would just make sure the kids had what they needed.
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